Day 34

This morning we visited Kaitlyn and brought some balloons. We all had a good time with them: blowing them up and releasing, batting them around, and making the squealing noise. And Kaitlyn learned to say “Please.” You can thank Christine and Julia for that because we’ve been following their example and it’s really worked for us. Plus, when we are together, they help us teach Kaitlyn things like that. Unfortunately, time flies when you are having fun and it was time to return her.

After lunch we spent some time with Christine and Julia at Marsha’s place. The boys have a tendency to get carried away. It’s really nice to have friends with you when you are away from home but I also miss my friends and family back home.

When the time came, we went to Slovansk and had a good start with Sarah. We also brought balloons, including the kind that have the rubber band attached. We blew them up, released them, bounced them, and had fun. I brought Sarah a Twix and her eyes lit up! We also enjoyed the pears, juice, and good ol’ fashion water. We also played with the water guns because it was very hot.

While we had a good start, we had some trials too but it wasn’t all bad. At one point, we needed to correct Sarah on asking for things and not just taking. At another point, it was disobedience which turned into a tantrum. So how do you handle a tantrum with a child who speaks another language? This is what we did. We used enough Russian to get our point across and we were stern with her, but not overly angry. We did have to threaten to return her to her group and then also ask if she wanted us to leave. I found myself having to be careful on how far to go with her because when we suggested that we may have to leave, the look she gave was very somber. But to both questions she seriously and emphatically said no.

And then something else interesting happened. She began to pretend to be a baby. At first, we assumed it was part of the tantrum but on the way home, a thought occurred to me. Maybe, just as we were afraid of offending her and were worried that she wouldn’t want to come home with us… maybe she was over-compensating for sympathy. I’m not sure yet and I’m only trying to understand the behavior. I think we handled it best when she repeated tried to interrupt my conversation with Jennifer by slightly noticing her but largely ignoring much of the behavior. Any hint of positive behavior, we reinforced. It was hard, but maybe she learned a bit.

At the end of the visit, I made sure she understood that I love her, that we will return tomorrow and she is still my daughter. I guess that overall, it was no different than how I discipline the boys now: they are given instruction, discipline, and then reinforced with love – but with a little Russki.