Sunday, August 2, 2009

Day 41

The traffic to the airport wasn't too bad and we were on time for boarding. Getting through security and customs wasn't that hard. When needed, we showed passports and the court decree. I think they made a copy of it because we had to wait a bit at the desk. And since directions are also in English, it wasn't hard at all to find our gate.

The girls were excited to finally get on a plane that would take them to America. During the flight they were hard to maintain but at some point we slept (some), had two meals, snacks, played, and went "pee-sit" and "ka-keet" often. The first flight was about 9 1/2 hours. We had a 6 hour layover in JFK. It took 1 hour to get through JFK security and customs. Forms, forms, forms..., but since we didn't purchase much, it wasn't a big deal. The Embassy had given us two sealed packets that can only be open by the American customs officer. There was some other paperwork that they did and soon the girls will get there green-card, followed by official citizenship. After waiting for 5 hours (including lunch and coffee), we boarded the much smaller plane to Charlotte. We tried to get some sleep but not much. Eventually we found ourselves being driven home by "Papa's pa-dru-ga" Ronnie. Thank God he was there because I was too tired to drive home safely.

Being surrounded by English actually took some getting use to. I have to say that Ukrainian coffee is much better than ours - StarBucks just can't compare. I find myself speaking Russian words to people but they are so use to foreign languages that they don't even notice. Being home feels like a dream and I was very happy that when I awoke this morning, I found it wasn't.

The girls are excited to be home. This morning, they have explored their room, the other rooms, and now it is time for some real home-cooking. Nick is at the computer, Noah is now at the Wii, Sarah is upstairs, and Kaitlyn is waiting for Jennifer to finish setting up so we can eat. We are rested some but I'd imagine that some naps are in order. The key thing to remember about the girls room is that they both saw pictures of it while in the orphanage. When they first saw it, they were ecstatic. It was a dream come true for them. They are in their home, their room, with their toys, their clothes, and with their family. Ah! Time for breakfast!

Day 40

Today was a day of leisure. After some breakfast and a much needed shower, I arranged for a cab to take myself, Nick and Noah to pick up some souvenirs from the tourist mall. The vendors there all speak English and many take US dollars; although I already exchanged for hrivnias. There’s a good amount of items to choose from: baboska dolls of all kinds, decorated wooden eggs, wooden maces, chess sets, hats, WW2 memorabilia, USSR memorabilia, snacks, drinks, and clothing. Nick got a Ukrainian baseball cap, Noah an old military cover with patches and Russian metals. I got Jenn a nice baboska doll that is in her favorite color (Russian style since our girls speak Russian). I won’t speak of the gift we brought back though, that’s a surprise!
After getting back, Jennifer and Yulia went to a local bank to withdraw a cash advance on the check card. This wasn’t as easy as we thought it would be. They had to try three banks that would find one that had enough cash. All we were withdrawing was $1,000. My CheckCard has a higher limit than that. While out, Jennifer learned that a bill was being presented to the Ukrainian Congress that would eliminate international adoptions. I’m glad we didn’t know this because I may have reconsidered adopting – which now I could never imagine doing. But the bill didn’t pass and now the number of dossier submissions is back up to what they were.

I praise God that our adoption was so smooth. Although the aunt caused some problems for us, she didn’t cause any delays in the paperwork. We have heard the horror stories: prosecutors appealing; documents being lost or incorrect (ie birth certificate); children deciding to not be adopted; and adoption disruptions. I want everyone to know how special this adoption is: there were no other sisters available for adoption in all of Ukraine; there are hardly any relatively healthy children available as most are now considered special needs; the new passport and VISA processes will take longer for everyone; the girls feel comfortable enough to convey their feelings; none of the paperwork was incorrect, lost, or delayed; we had water and hot water the entire time; we had power the entire time; we met new friends who helped us in parenting our daughters and are a great encouragement; our costs were lower than average; Kaitlyn was miss-categorized as being special needs so most people overlooked her; and Sarah was never considered for adoption. God’s hand is truly on this adoption and the girls were set apart (hmm… same as being holy) for us. By God’s help and leading, we’ve overcome language barriers, logistic obstacles, financial issues, and the hardship of being in another country of a completely different language.

Tonight, Sarah asked me to comb her hair. Kaitlyn is allowing us to play with her much more (lifting, carrying, etc). We didn’t have to get on to them about anything serious and any discipline was just giving reminders. Sarah helped me wash dishes and clean up. Kaitlyn is good about getting the trash picked up but then she leaves some too. Oh! And Kailtyn finally “ka-keet” (poop) in the toilet! The girls are very excited about tomorrow. Yulia explained how the trip will go so hopefully that will make the very long day a bit easier. We can’t wait!

Day 39

After a long but not so bad train ride from Kramatorsk to Kiev, we immediately went to visit a doctor who gave his diagnosis of the girls. The physical wasn’t really necessary as the blood work was current and we know that “everything” works. But he did recommend that we continue on with the medicine that Kaitlyn had been taking. This information we only learned the other day. The orphanage doctor explained that she had stopped taking medicine for the benign seizures back in August but the neurologist report said that she had been taking another medicine since October. I don’t know why we weren’t told that and why they didn’t make sure we had it when we picked her up. At first we weren’t going to give it to her because we didn’t know what would come about with any side-effects. The doctor stated that she had been taking it long enough so we shouldn’t see any side effects. When we get back to the States, we will see if she really needs it. From what we can gather, they give her this medicine because of her temper tantrums but what 4 year old doesn’t have them? To be safe, we will keep her on it but to be perfectly honest, while on and off the pills – which she is very accustomed to taking so it seems she really was taking them – we don’t notice any difference in the behavior or any side-effects. But while waiting, a Ukrainian that spoke English commented on how well Kaitlyn speaks Russian. I thought that was cute.

We then proceeded to the Embassy with the doctor’s information, the birth certificates, passports, and court decree. It was just a matter of getting permission to bring them to the States and making sure that they didn’t have a criminal record. In fact, they even have an adoption department. We appeared around noon, was asked to come back at 3pm for an interview (which was not really an interview at all - just signing the forms and vowing that the information is accurate), and 30 minutes later we had their VISAs! By the way, all they did was add a section to their Ukrainian passports. Yulia couldn’t believe how fast it went. It generally takes two days for even a rushed request and we had it within 4 hours! That’s how God works. Now if the airline could bump our flight a day early!
We also learned some news about the couple we met from Nebraska. They were the ones who were adopting a young child with Down’s Syndrome. We had also heard that there was a couple who traveled to Crimea and was almost done with the 10 day waiting period when the prosecutor applied for an appeal! This was the same couple! Apparently some of the oblasts (States) in Ukraine are becoming increasingly more difficult to adopt from. But I couldn’t imagine going that far and then having to face an appeal. The process works like this: during the 10 waiting period, someone could contest the adoption; say a biological parent or family member, or the prosecutor. They only have to notify the court of the desire to appeal and they have another 20 days to actually submit the request. This means that the potential parents are either in country up to another 20 days or have to return. This is financially stressful for most parents seeking to adopt. In Russia, it’s worse. Parents are not allowed to say the entire time and must travel 3 times during the whole process. On top of that, hotels and other businesses are capitalizing on the parents by charging more.

We are back in the same apartment as before but the cable modem has disappeared. We could ask for it but by the time we would get it, we would be on the plane to America. Sarah’s face lights up when she hears that word. She got real excited when she got her VISA but they both have a hard time accepting the fact that we have to wait until Saturday. I hear ya, kiddo, I hear ya. But now the girls are 100% legally ours and nothing can stop us from bringing them home. Once we get there, we need to notify the Ukrainian Embassy (by mail) and re-adopt them in Raleigh. This way, their birth certificates are localized, though the birth place is the same, and if we ever need replacements we don’t have to fly to Ukraine and visit the vital records department.

Unfortunately, I had to discipline Sarah today. She has quite a loose tongue and even when it is in Russian, you can figure out what is being said. But it worked out… it was hard but really it was no different than what I have done with the boys. In the end, she knows that we love her. It’s important to be consistent and fair with everyone. Sarah has a lot of influence on Kaitlyn. They have a special bond since they both speak Russian. It helps them to cope with the changes and gives them a sense of security. We just need to make sure that Kaitlyn knows that we are her parents. Kaitlyn has a hard time using a toilet, though she will sit on it she won’t always go “pee’sit” and “ka’keet” (I don’t have to translate, do I?) but she will on a bowl. Yes, a bowl. Many children in orphanages use them and she is quite proficient at it. At least Sarah doesn’t need it and maybe once we get home, the potty seat (which we can’t find here) will help her transition. Even despite the discipline, parenting the girls is easier than it used to be. Every day, it gets easier but then we also face new issues and you just can’t prepare for those.
We also learned that the girls really do rely on mid-day naps. From 12-3pm, they take their nap. Today, we had to wake them for the Embassy “interview” and it was hard; kinda like having to wake up Noah. Yulia commented on how much Sarah and Nick look alike. And since Nick looks like Jenn, it gives Sarah bit of common familiarity on looks. Kaitlyn doesn’t look much like her sister but I think that if folks saw us altogether, we’d look like we had 4 biological children, just that the looks mixed well.

Oh, and by the way, I think we have another swimmer in our family. Sarah loves the water and in the huge tub that we have here, she was trying to literally swim. With her upper body strength, I bet she could water-ski. If my in-laws are reading this, they are getting excited right about now. But if we could just convince the girls to let Jennifer comb their hair…