Day 38

It's July 29th and flurries are falling down around us. I'm not kidding. Last week, the temperature was in the 90's. Obviously we didn't expect a cold front to come in but for me it's welcomed.

Last night was our first night as a family. We showed the girls around, had dinner, watched a movie (as much as young kids can watch a movie on the first night in a new place), and had bath. Jennifer gave the girls their bath together and they loved it! I think it was the first time they were able to play in the tub and Sarah enjoyed laying down in the tub, turning this way and that. They both smelled so much better afterward. Going to bed was a challenge. For Sarah, it was a matter of convincing her. For Kaitlyn, she needed to be comforted. She spent an hour in our bed and
moved the whole time, though she also yawned. I asked her if she wanted to be with Sarah and she said yes. I think she ended up rocking herself to sleep. I wish we had a rocker. But I'm guess by the way we found her in the morning.

Meal times are not that hard except for keeping everyone at the table until we are finished. They both like cold cereal and of course juice. Later we went to get Sarah more shoes as her were too small. After lunch, the girls had well needed naps. Then it was an afternoon of play. We finally got the passports, birth certicates, and court decree! At 8pm, our taxi will come and then it's off to the train station! We leave a 8:53pm and arrive some time in the morning.

I'm assuming that I'll have internet access but if I don't, it means I can't figure out the Russian interface at the hotel. Either way, we fly out on August 1st and we will be getting the girls VISAs within the next couple of days.

Day 37

We have Sarah and Kaitlyn! Our driver took us to the Slovansk vital records building and we picked up both of the birth certificates. We have a copy of their original and the one with their new names. They are in Ukrainian and we will get the English versions in Kiev. First we picked up Sarah. The whole orphanage knew and when we came up, all the other kids told us "bye-bye". We spent a while signing papers, showing documents, and talking with the director. She actually seemed happy for us and sad to see Sarah go. The kids got their bananas and juice, teachers their chocolate, and the doctor and director their champagne and chocolates. The director shared with all the adults and we toasted to the adoption. By that time, Sarah was changed but only after the director made sure that her dress was ironed. Good grief. So long to that place!

Kaitlyn's orphanage was much easier and actually had less documents to sign. Go figure. We also met with the director but we had Sarah with us this time. After a few minutes, we had Kaitlyn with us and the girls were very excited to meet each other. They hugged, they held hands, and helped with getting their shoes on. We gave the teachers their cake and chocolates. Then we shared another glass of champagne with the director. He shared his chocolates, we gave him ours. It's easy to tell that he loves the children and deeply cares for them.

I love watching them together. As of now, they are enjoying Marsha's play room and the pile of kopekas at the desk. Everything is new to them. The city, the elevator, the computer, the Game-Boys, neighbors... you say it and it's probably new to them. We just finished eating our first family dinner and we practiced etiquette. Once they knew it was chicken, they stuffed their faces. They obviously know what it is but don't get it very often.

Tomorrow, Marsha's mother will need to work with getting some of the documents notarized. She will bring them when we board the train. We are leaving tomorrow night at 8:53pm and the train arrives in Kiev around 7:30am or so. I'm so tired and yet so relieved to have the girls with us. Integrating them in to the family is still to come but at least we have started. We are almost home.

Day 36

We learned this morning that today will be the last regular visitation day. Because we couldn't reach Marsha, we got a hold of Yulia. She explained that she had scheduled for our driver to come today. Apparently, getting the court decrees and birth certificates take more time that we realized. But a part of our problem was that we weren't told and didn't know to ask.

We had really great visits with both of the girls. Kaitlyn is into trying new things and feels much more confident around us. She is playing more and more with her brothers. Sarah is also playing more with her brothers. I was a bit nervous about our visit with Sarah today after having to sternly discipline her. At first, she seemed a bit cool and kinda regressed. She also seemed calm and treated us more like she does the care-givers; which included listening better. After a few minutes of play and juice, she pretended to be a baby that wanted to be rocked. But something changed, I could tell by her relaxed position that she really enjoyed being rocked. I even sang a lullaby: "za-snoch, za-snoch, za-snoch men'ya doch"; which means, "go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep my daughter". Behavior was not an issue and I was truly happy to have such a wonderful visit with my daughter, especially after the last time. For other parents out there... expect good days and difficult days but none of them are easy.

We had dinner with Christine and Julia Reed at Premier and I tried Ukrainian borsch. It was delicious! It also came with very strong garlic bread, which made us take a drink after one bit. The garlic was very, very strong. I loved it! I also had chicken with cheese and spinach. Oh, and don't forget the Sprite. Jennifer had some real beef! The boys had the chicken as well. We walked home and later Yulia called.

We learned that Marsha is helping another couple with their adoption and that the reason why she is not with us is that they had serious problems with getting their court date. Since we are on the downward slope, she felt it was better to stay with the other couple. I would have appreciated some forwardness on her part but I can't blame her for staying with the other couple who needed her more. Marsha's mother is taking her place and already has the court decree and the passports. The birth certificates will be available for us to pick up first thing tomorrow morning. After that, we will head over to Sarah's orphanage, have a small party, give gifts, and she'll never have to see that place again. After Kaitlyn's nap time, we will do the same for her.

Marsha's mother will also assist us with getting to the train and boarding. After that, we will be in better hands, Yulia's hands, and in Kiev getting the girls VISAs. We'll need to stop by the SDA, we'll grab some souvenirs, maybe more toys to entertain the girls with, and just have some fun! Then it's off to the airport but that is for another post.

Oh, and we saw this today.

Day 35

Today is our last day (or should be) having to “visit” the girls. This morning, we went to Kaitlyn’s orphanage and she is getting better at repeating English words. Since it was hot, we played inside the sports room and she decided to play with the tube! Before, she was too scared to even touch it but after getting use to it and watching Alex Reed play in it, she joined him. Soon she was asking her Papa to roll her some more. On the way home, we stopped by the local market and Christine and Julia helped us carry the gifts for the directors, doctors, teachers, and kids for the good-bye parties. We still need to pick up the cakes but we are waiting to hear from Marsha of when we will be having the parties. We need to make sure that the cakes are fresh and have the dates printed on them. For those who don’t know, even US daycares require this.

For the directors and doctors, they will be receiving a bottle of champagne or sparkling wine and a box of chocolates. For the teachers, a cheaper bottle of champagne to share and chocolate bars (nice ones). And for the kids, cake and juice. These can be picked up in almost any market and relatively speaking, they are not very expensive.



We just returned from visiting Sarah and for the most part, the visit went great! She played well with the boys, as a girl does in Russian. She was more polite as well. But towards the end of the visit, she had a tantrum over the cell phone. Once that was dealt with, she had another tantrum about saying in the shelter and out of the rain and simply obeying her father. Unfortunately, the only real means of discipline is to return her to her group. She was told that she needed to listen. She would not and continued her tantrum. In the end we took her back to her group, we explained the situation to the care-giver, and told her that we would see her tomorrow. We were sure to communicate our love for her and that we would return but we needed to be consistent and follow through.

Christine taught us something very important. She explained that since Sarah is being disobedient (at times) and is truly expressing how she feels, this means that our attachment and bonding is going well. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier but that makes sense. Often times, adoptions have a honeymoon that ranges from 1-6 months. During the honeymoon, the child is very complacent and easy to get along with. It’s when the honeymoon is over that the real work of integrating the child into the family begins because it is at that moment that the child feels confident about being honest. That being said, we are doing really well with getting Sarah to bond with us. It's just that I haven't had to deal with tantrums since the boys were little. Tomorrow will be a better though, and we'll leave the orphanage for good and will be on our way home.

Day 34

This morning we visited Kaitlyn and brought some balloons. We all had a good time with them: blowing them up and releasing, batting them around, and making the squealing noise. And Kaitlyn learned to say “Please.” You can thank Christine and Julia for that because we’ve been following their example and it’s really worked for us. Plus, when we are together, they help us teach Kaitlyn things like that. Unfortunately, time flies when you are having fun and it was time to return her.

After lunch we spent some time with Christine and Julia at Marsha’s place. The boys have a tendency to get carried away. It’s really nice to have friends with you when you are away from home but I also miss my friends and family back home.

When the time came, we went to Slovansk and had a good start with Sarah. We also brought balloons, including the kind that have the rubber band attached. We blew them up, released them, bounced them, and had fun. I brought Sarah a Twix and her eyes lit up! We also enjoyed the pears, juice, and good ol’ fashion water. We also played with the water guns because it was very hot.

While we had a good start, we had some trials too but it wasn’t all bad. At one point, we needed to correct Sarah on asking for things and not just taking. At another point, it was disobedience which turned into a tantrum. So how do you handle a tantrum with a child who speaks another language? This is what we did. We used enough Russian to get our point across and we were stern with her, but not overly angry. We did have to threaten to return her to her group and then also ask if she wanted us to leave. I found myself having to be careful on how far to go with her because when we suggested that we may have to leave, the look she gave was very somber. But to both questions she seriously and emphatically said no.

And then something else interesting happened. She began to pretend to be a baby. At first, we assumed it was part of the tantrum but on the way home, a thought occurred to me. Maybe, just as we were afraid of offending her and were worried that she wouldn’t want to come home with us… maybe she was over-compensating for sympathy. I’m not sure yet and I’m only trying to understand the behavior. I think we handled it best when she repeated tried to interrupt my conversation with Jennifer by slightly noticing her but largely ignoring much of the behavior. Any hint of positive behavior, we reinforced. It was hard, but maybe she learned a bit.

At the end of the visit, I made sure she understood that I love her, that we will return tomorrow and she is still my daughter. I guess that overall, it was no different than how I discipline the boys now: they are given instruction, discipline, and then reinforced with love – but with a little Russki.

Day 33

Wow! We had two great visits today. We played, enjoyed fruit, juice, and just had a lot of fun. We have easy visits and visits that require more work - it really depends on your attitude and how the day is progressing for the girls. The girls are slowly learning English but that will be greatly accelerated when we get home. Jennifer taught Sarah a couple of words and I was able to get her to call out to Nick. Kailtyn helps me understand what she needs or wants by pointing and a few Russian words. With Sarah, the Russian helps but I rely on her showing and teaching her the English.

I spoke with Marsha and we shouldn't have a problem picking up both girls on Monday; though there is a chance that we may not have enough hours in the day to get all the documents that we need and get both girls - but we shall see won't we?

After lunch today, we hung out in the nearby park so the kids could play and the adults could talk. The boys played with some of the local kids and Julia (John and Christine Reed's daughter - see below). It's really great to have Christine's company (John flew back with Dennis – who was adopted from Kaitlyn’s orphanage last year) and she has a lot of good tips and advice for us. Plus, it's nice to hear English being spoken outside our family.

Tonight, we just finished a game of Uno with the boys and Julia. Christine used the computer to work her magic on bringing people together on issues of adoption. It is very comforting to know that despite how you feel, you're not alone and there is a wealth of support and information available for those who have adopted, are in process or will be. Even in another country, God has given us new friends (and believers) who know the ropes and they are a blessing to us.

Day 32

I finally got a chance to taste more Ukrainian food. Roma, the translator for John and Christine Reed, was with us and he explained what was what. I love the pancake burrito-like food and the deep fried rolled chicken with cheese sauce... yum. Good stuff. Christine works with families that have adoption interruptions. It's hard to imagine that folks could do that but at least there are people out there like Christine who love children enough to step in and help. Sometimes she can offer respite from parenting, other times the child is re-adopted. Yes, you read that correctly: re-adopted. One child has been adopted 3 times! However hard it is to imagine, I guess it's better than the child staying unloved or abused. We stayed in the sports room with Kaitlyn and Christine, Julie, and Alex (their newly adopted son) joined us. We learned a bit more Russian and had some fun. Kaitlyn did two new things today: she wanted to get in the swing and the pop-up tent. She just needs time to get comfortable with the idea of something new.



Our visit with Sarah started kinda rough. It seemed that she was having a no-so-great day but was happy to see us. One of the challenges of adopting a child at her age is that when we are at the orphanage, we are on her grounds. She knows the rules and knows how to push them but she doesn't see us as the ultimate authority in her life - which logically that is expected. As a parent, that can be difficult to work with. At one point, I told her that she needed to listen or that she may end up going back with the group. That seemed to work because she didn't want us to leave. A while later, her group came out with her favorite care-giver: Natasha. We found out that when Sarah first came to the orphanage, she would not speak or do much at all. The care-giver said that she has been working with Sarah for 3 years; though the math doesn't add up because we were told that Sarah has been there since 2007 - around 2 years or so. It's the care-giver that has been working with Sarah to get her to be as active as she: playing, running, speaking, etc. This bit of information makes other observations of ours make more sense. I gave her my email address so I could get hers and we will send pictures and updates now and then.



As for the group, the boys and Sarah joined in the play and we watched how jealous she was over the boys. She would not allow the others to get to close to the boys and at one point, she drew them back, held on to both of them (she was in the middle) and told the others to go away, that these are "her" brothers. While I normally would have corrected her for doing that; she wouldn't have understood the correction and it conveys attachment. Though it's not quite bonding, it's a beginning. Sarah's orphanage director is going to be out-of-the-office Monday and since we still have to pick up the court documents and birth certificates, it looks like we will pick Sarah up Tuesday. We don't have any nice words to say about this but what can we do? We simply play the game. I can't imagine that we will have any issue getting Kaitlyn on Monday but we wanted get them both on the same day. I suppose this will make it easier to have parties at both orphanages. I wonder how often the kids get cake?

Day 31

There are apricots and green apples almost everywhere around here. They are very small because the trees are not thinned out. I see a lot of folks eating them or collecting them to sell. At Sarah's orphanage, there are a few trees and she likes to pick the fruit off them. She doesn't eat the mini-apricots but she does like the mini-apples. Jenn can't stand them but I enjoy them because Sarah does. Her orphanage is installing another play structure. I wonder if our donation helped? We spoke with the director and we need to finalize on our plans for Monday as she will be out of the office for part of the day. But with Sarah, we played with the sand, played a bit of tag, hug out, watched videos on the camera, and I got to swing around the yard.

This morning we hung out with Kaitlyn; both in the sports room and outdoors. She likes to play with the sand toys and she showed us how strong she is on the monkey bars. It made Jenn's heart skip a beat when Kaitlyn would climb up and slip down between the bars. And she wouldn't take our help. We also got a chance to see our friends, talk about adoption stuff, share tips, and learn a whole lot more! They had their court hearing yesterday and it went well for them. We picked up some toys for the girls. We have our tickets for the return train ride to Kiev and thank God that we will be by ourselves in the cabins. We have two: one for the boys and one for the girls. Since we would rather not share with strangers, we have to wait another day in Kramatorsk. But that's okay, we are still on time for leaving Ukraine on August 1st and it save a bit of money this way. God bless!

Day 30

The sky was beautiful today! The flooding helped fill in many of the holes in the street, which made the taxi ride easier. We had a blast with Kaitlyn in the "sports room" as it was too muddy outside. The other day we learned that there is one boy in her class that likes to hit or bite the kids who just had a visitor. It's hard to be angry at that because we know that he is simply jealous and who can blame him? But it's hard to see that your child has a bite mark and there isn't much that you can do about it. The "German" (our usual cab driver who has a German car) wasn't available and we rode in Marsha's car. The driver is married to Marsha’s mother.

We also visited Sarah today and I forgot the camera! We snacked on cherry juice and trail mix and found that she doesn't have a nut allergy; in fact, she likes them a lot, especially almonds it seems. We sat together and she poured out the water into cups. I think we had a father-daughter "tea" time together. I got to watch her blow bubbles with the wind and some of her friends tried to pop them. The sun hit her hair just right and she looked very pretty. The boys enjoyed playing with her and her friends. I let them know that they made the orphanage kids day by playing with them. It's easy to see how hard it is in the orphanage for all these kids. The strongest are mostly likely to survive and they mock each other. For example, there was a bed sheet, underwear, and blanket hanging out to dry. This means someone wet the bed, was probably made fun of the entire day, and had to sleep in a chair. We caught one of the orphanage boys bullying another. We stepped in while the teacher just watched. Simply sad. Sarah had words with that boy and it seemed that she needed to establish that Mama is HER Mama and not his (she doesn't have this issue with Nick and Noah). I think the boy just got confused because all the women are called Mama (insert person’s name) but he didn't know Jennifer's, so he just called her Mama. Both of the girls don't use our names, for we are their Mama and Papa now. Today was a cool day. We walked over to the flea market and picked up some toys for the girls. We will need them while we are in Kiev and the travel home. I imagine that we will probably pick up more. Thank you for your prayers but keep them coming!

Day 29

I always wanted to take the boys white water rafting and we almost did that today. We have been watching the local forecast and thought we might get some rain tonight. Well, we got it once we arrived at Sarah’s orphanage. In a few minutes, it began to downpour. We stayed inside, played, ate pears, and drank apple juice. Sarah shared her juice and water with her Papa. We also played a bit of indoor ball-hockey with a soft inflatable ball and some batons. No toes were injured during the events. The rain brought a cool breeze but the windows are known to leak a bit. We made sure that Sarah understood that she only has 7 days left in the orphanage; and of course she loved to hear that. She wears her “clips”, ring and bracelet most of the time and she stands in front of the mirror telling herself that she is a beautiful girl. At least the orphanage didn’t break her spirit. Our visit with Kaitlyn was dry and hot. We snacked outside, blew and popped bubbles, played a bit and headed into the sports room. She loves it in there and so do the boys. It’s a nice, clean respite from the outdoors and it gives our kids a chance to play with other kids. It’s hard to truly bond or even just get attached to someone when you only have an hour or so a day and it’s spent trying to be active. What we could use is some down time, you know, just hanging out, watching a little TV, or playing on the living room floor. That will have to wait. There was a parked car nearby (construction going on) and Kaitlyn got a chance to get close to it. She was so enamored by the car that she walked around it, touching it, about five times. I even caught her kissing the car every now and then; of course, I told her not to but she just really wants to leave the orphanage. About the waiting, we are able to get a flight to return home on August 1st. Yeah, I know it's only 4 days but that makes a difference to us; plus we have to figure the costs of staying (food, apartment, taxi, and yes entertainment - the girls have no toys here and we'd all get very bored). It appears that we will be leaving Kramatorsk Tuesday night (overnight train) and the VISAs will be in our hands within two days. Once we have the VISAs, we are good to go!

Day 28

Boy what a day! It's hot here in Kramatorsk and it's not much better in Slovansk either. We just got back from visiting Sarah. She is definitely adjusting to us and becoming more and more comfortable. I love to watch her water the trees that her class has planted. We also brought sliced apples for everyone. I try to change it up when I can. We also made sure that we had plenty of water guns too. I was able to get her to use a bit more English today. When it was time to say good bye, she asked if we were going to America. There was a misunderstanding and she thought that she wasn't going to America after all. My heart broke and I wiped away the tears. I told her in Russian that she is my daughter and that yes, she is going to America – with all of us. I carried in and found a teacher that knows some English and asked her to translate that in 8 days (when we bring clothes for her to wear) we will begin our journey to America. That cheered her up!

Both of our daughters tested us to see what they could get away with today. For Sarah, it was about sharing the bubbles with Noah. For Kaitlyn, it was a mini-trantrum when we showed that we must gather our things before we head inside to the play room. She loves being in a group and as you would expect, she is use to it. Kaitlyn loves to slide down the old painted tires. They are half way buried in the ground and make good climbing structures. She rotates through them all and likes to climb up them without the help of Papa; well, except for a couple where she asks for help. Both girls are rather independent but are beginning to trust that we are there for them. We know that in the near future, we will have much more comforting to do and we can't wait.

Day 27

We had two great visits today with Sarah Vicka and Kaitlyn Gela. Sarah recognizes her name, but sometimes we have to add her Russian nick name (which is her middle name) and she uttered her first English word! Our communication is getting better and she is adjusting. With Kaitlyn Gela, we simply added the Kaitlyn, we played a lot on the slide, blew bubbles, colored a bit, kicked a ball a bit, and enjoyed cookies and juice. With Sarah, we had a small snack, shot each other with water pistols, played make believe, and I also gave her the "clips". She loved the pink and silver jewelry and showed it to all her friends and teachers. We also found some more clothes for the girls and so we should have enough to get us home because we just learned from Yulia that we should be able to leave early, either July 30th or 31st! Julia is great with getting documents taken care of and everything is proceeding smoothly. This means that we could be heading out to Kiev on the 27th (just after we pick up the girls) or the 28th, and only have to stay in Kiev for 1 to 2 nights! Of course, God still needs to arrange the flights for us... but we can't wait to get home. Well, I'm off to enjoy some birthday cake with the boys and Jennifer. Make sure you wish her a happy birthday!

Day 26

Cherry juice. Mango soda. The richest ice cream, aside from gelato, you've ever tasted. The cherry juice tastes a bit like grape juice but the mango soda takes some getting used to. The ice cream tastes like it came from a very cold cow - it must be straight cream. Thank God for capitalism and Coca-Cola. I appreciate that I can ask for a Coke even though the waiter can't speak a bit of English. This morning, we visited Gela and shared a tasty treat, blew a few bubbles, read a book, colored for a minute, passed out the bananas we brought, and then went inside to the play room. She did very well, even though her brothers were a little crazy playing with the children of the American family we met. I was glad to see that Gela could handle the chaos and still have fun. After we were asked to bring Gela upstairs for lunch and then nap, we had our lunch and eventually found ourselves at the notary.

We learned that in order for you to drive anyone else’s' car, you have to have written permission and it must be notarized - which is done by a lawyer. Our reason for being there was to get the passport request document notarized for the girls. After that, Marsha took us to see Vicka. When we arrived, she was all ready for her passport photo and she asked for her "clips". She was hoping we had her clip-on ear rings but we couldn't find any in time (we fixed that later). She wore a pretty yellow top and skirt and had two white hair bows in her head. She was adorable! The boys and I hung out while the girls went for the photo (including one of the teachers). Jennifer learned that Vicka is very photogenic. She loves having her picture taken and enjoyed riding around in the car wearing her mamas' sun glasses. Reminds me of how Nick loves getting his picture taken, especially when he was little. The boys and I played with water guns until the girls returned about an hour later. I came up to see Vicka and she ran up to me for a hug and kiss! We took a picture of her pretty dress and told her something very important. We told her that she is our princess and that we would like to call her Princess Vicka and that the name for a princess is Sarah (literally, it's Hebrew for Princess). We weren't so sure on how she would respond but she liked the idea. So now we need to make sure we refer to her as Sarah Vicka now (that's the idea). Soon enough, she wanted to play and that meant taking off the dress. A few minutes later, we needed to leave. She walked us to the gate, gave everyone "loves", but when she gave me a kiss, she asked if I had shaved. So... next time Papa... shave! We both continued to wave good-bye until we were out of sight, only stopping to occasionally blow a kiss. Tomorrow we will be visiting both girls (Yeah!) but it's going to be hot! We still need to find more clothes, socks, underwear, and such but we have some already.

Day 25

While visiting Gela, we met another couple, John and Christine Reed, from Tulare, CA who just arrived the other day and are going to adopt one of Gela’s classmates. This isn't their first adoption though; I believe that this is their 8th, making a total of 12 children for them. And I thought 4 would be a handful! But praise God there are families out there willing to adopt regardless of how many! After grabbing some quick lunch, we headed over to Slovansk to appear before the judge. We learned that the judge asked Lena to appear. That, of course, made us, Marsha and Yulia a bit nervous. She appeared with a friend and when asked, she appropriately shared with the judge that the girls would be better suited for us to adopt. The courtroom itself was smaller than our bedroom and hot as outside. There were 14 of us in it: two jurors, a court recorder, the prosecutor, a representative from the Slovansk orphanage, one of the social workers, Lena and her friend, the boys, us, Marsha, and of course the judge. I think we over dressed a bit and I couldn't hide the sweat. We were asked some questions, gave our statements, and answered a couple of questions from the jurors and the prosecutor. Overall, I think it took about 45 minutes. We step outside the room for deliberations and a few minutes later, we joined the judge and jurors. At that moment we heard those magical words: the court approves the adoption! However, we still must wait the 10 days. This means that as of July 26th, the girls are officially our daughters but that being a Sunday, we must get the court documents Monday, the 27th. That Monday, we will pick up the girls and they will never have to see the orphanages again. It's also when they will meet since they were separated. We also learned that getting the passports should only take 2 days and getting the VISAs should only take about 2-3 days. This means that we could be done by July 31st but I'm not so sure. Regardless, we should be done by our expected travel home date of August 5th. We are so excited and yet so very tired. We were very nervous and besides the heat, it took a lot out of us emotionally. The aunt was sad but understands the situation. Her and her friend congratulated us as we left the building. I'm glad to have left the situation on pleasant terms. After the court hearing, we visited Vicka. She doesn't know the official date yet as we don't want to confuse her about it but maybe we can get a calendar and she can count down the days until she leaves the orphanage. I don't have any pictures of her as she was in her underwear and stayed that way. This is common at this age as it gets very hot. But I don't want to have any problems taking pictures like that. Praise God we are on the downward slope of the adoption!

Day 24

Today Jennifer and Gela went to get a photo take for Gela’s Ukrainian passport. Jenn says that she was happy to leave the orphanage but a bit once they got to the studio, she was scared. But I think they have a good enough photo for the passport. And as expected, she was sad to have to go back to the orphanage.

We visited Vicka today. The visit started better than yesterdays; though language can still be somewhat of an obstacle, we are getting better at it and we are all getting to know each other better. We spent over an hour outside playing, coloring, and having snack. She loves it when I pick her up and toss her in the air. When she saw that I was getting tired, she about drowned me by forcing me to drink a lot of water at once (she was holding the water bottle as I held her). As for the coloring, she liked the Tinkerbell pictures the best so I will have to get more of those. It's a good thing her room is filled with those. It was hot but it was a good day. She allowed us to get emotionally closer and Jennifer was able to perform her motherly duties: hugging and holding when ouches happen. She was sad to see us go but we said we would see her tomorrow. In my broken Russian, I told her I love her. We gave each other loves and said good-bye. Again, tomorrow is the hearing. It is expected to last about 30 minutes. We will see Gela in the morning and Vicka after the hearing. We learned that since the hearing is in Slovansk, the Kramatorsk orphanage and social worker have waived the right to their appearance. Hopefully, this is merely a technicality; however, we would still like to have the 10 day waiting period waived (yeah, I know I keep saying that). The heat really wiped me out today and Marsha says that it's warmer than usual.

Day 23

This morning we went to visit Gela. We had a great time and spent a few minutes with the director, where we gave our donation. We flew paper airplanes, colored, played around, kicked the ball a bit, and had fun together in the hot sun. We also learned that she has 18 care givers, including 1 doctor, some primary care givers and some assistants. So... to show our gratitude, we will give a gift the the doctor and the director. And when the day comes to take Gela, we will have a party for the teachers and for her class. I can't wait! After her nap, we went to visit Vicka at her orphanage. We had a rough start but we smoothed things out and by halfway through the visit, we were already becoming more attached (bonding actually comes later). I love it when she calls me Papa and Jenn Mama; plus she sees the boys as her brothers. For a good part of the visit, I carried her in my arms and so she could reach the tree branches and shake them, causing the freshly fallen rain to come down and cool us off. Then she would use my bandana to wipe my face and hers. She was sad to see us go. She really wanted to come with us but we told her that someday soon, she will. She said that if we leave, she will cry. I responded that if she cries, so will I. I didn't hold back the tears when her eyes welled up. I also told her that she was pretty and boy you should have seen her face! It lit up like the 4th of July! Her Mama also told her that she bought her new shoes and new clothes, just for her. And she loved that idea. We promised that we will see her tomorrow after nap and she was okay with that. Tomorrow Jenn, Gela, Marsha, and one of the teachers are going to get Gela’s VISA photo taken. We also need to get Vicka’s done. Then we will head over to Slovansk to visit Sarah. The court hearing is still set for Thursday and Marsha hasn't been able to ask the high judge to waive the 10 day waiting period yet so keep praying.

Day 22

Today was largely uneventful except for a couple of events and observations. As you know, we've been sharing how difficult it is to only visit our children and we are praying that the high judge will waive the 10 day waiting period. In prayer this morning, the Spirit pointed out that this same feeling of frustration is similar to what God experiences with us - when we are half-hearted with him and ignore his call for fellowship. Ouch! I don't think I can ever forget this feeling. Of course, not that the girls have done anything wrong but to have to say good-bye each day; for now anyways. While visiting Gela, we observed a local girl, maybe 8 years old, deficate outside near a tree. We caught her "wiping up" with leaves and pine cones. And she thought nothing of it, nor her friend. It's hot here today. The weather is more like California heat than North Carolina. Good thing there is so much shade. I just wish we had air conditioning in more than one room. Outside, there is a concert going on. It sounds like some kind of outreach; judging by the style of music and the occasional speaking. I hope so. I just hope that they don't go too late. It's hard enough to get sleep at night here. We need to open the windows but then the mosquitoes come. Tomorrow morning, we will be visiting Gela and giving our donation to her orphanage. Then, after lunch, we will begin our regular visits to Vicka. Thursday morning, the SDA documents arrive. This is their final approval. Thursday afternoon (3pm) we have our hearing. The SDA will not be present but a representative of the government, a representative of each orphanage, the social workers from each city, and ourselves will be there. We will be asked some questions: can we afford this adoption, our annual income, why we want to adopt, etc. Boy, I hope there is some air conditioning in the court room; I don't want to sweat before the judge!

Day 21

This morning, learned that latte in Russian is spelled: latte; though the bakery outside uses the cyrllic letters. I haven't had coffee this good since Mr. Toads in Santa Cruz. StarBucks has nothing on a good cup of joe out here. Thanks to NesCafe, we are able to get a good cup of coffee; but the machine doesn't allow for a double-shot of expresso. The pastries were good too! They are very rich and you can't eat a lof of them. We all only had one and that was enough. I'm going to trying to get some coffee beans before we leave so everyone else can share the experience. Oh, and by the way, this better than StarBucks coffee was under a buck. Then we went to the flea market across the street. There were a lot of people there, selling their wares: clothes, shoes, food (all sorts, like a grocery store), DVDs, etc. We picked up some clothes for the girls and a travel bag to bring their stuff home in. And we found some good deals too; but Jenn couldn't stand the smell of the indoor section for the cheeses, meats, and such. Later in the day, we went and visited (agh, I hate saying that now) Gela. She showed us how to blow bubbles and learned how to say bubbles in the process.

Day 20

Another morning, another day in Ukraine. The sun rises early here and sets late. I think most of the folks outside take a mid day break and stay up late. Old men discussing things, old ladies eyeing us with occasional "Hullos". We got some laundry done and after lunch, we headed over to Gela’s orphanage. We have grown tired of "visiting" our children. There were a chance of showers; thank goodness for our umbrellas. We learned that Gela loves to color. We brought a large Disney coloring book and with the boy’s crayons, she colored on most of the pages. And she actually improved from page to page. Jenn pointed out that she puts her crayons away and likes to keep them organized - I don't get it but then I'm a man. Afterward, we were allowed to go into a sort of play room that had plenty of large motor skills toys: large balls for bouncing and balancing; a balancing beam; pool of plastic balls (like Chuck-E-Cheese); other ride-on bouncing toys; cushioned shapes with the primary colors; and a lot more. She had a blast! Unfortunately, I didn't have the camera as I didn't expect this and with the rain, I didn't want a damaged camera now. We also read a couple of new books. She is remembering the words and is starting to use the boys names.

Since we learned that Vicka’s great-aunt has been seeing her twice a day (although they are not suppose to allow her to), we decided it was best to visit her again when she is in the orphanage. Not only is it closer, but we don't have competition for attention. Besides, the great-aunt won't be able to see her again and these are the last few days she has with her; plus we know that she is actively working with Vicka to transition to our family. Tuesday morning, Vicka will be going to her orphanage so we will see her Tuesday afternoon. We also had to explain to the boys Vicka’s sassiness. Though she speaks Russian, you can tell what she means by her hip movement, foot stomp, arms being crossed, or when she simply takes both of your checks in her hands and looks you eye to eye (that one was mine - it was so cool). The boys weren't sure how to take it but we have been explaining that they really need to watch her body language to understand - she isn't upset or mad; just communicating very vibrantly. I think Grandpa would call her a "spit-fire". Once everything is official, then the girls will meet. Vicka has been told that she has a sister but I don't think it has sunk in yet. She's been shown pictures though. Still, this will make for an interesting meeting.

Monday, Marsha will be requesting an appointment with the high judge and will ask for the 10 day waiting period to be waived. Though it is unlikely that he will waive it; we know that God moves the hearts of men. So please pray. It's much better for the girls if we can have them with us instead of having to "visit" our children.

Day 19

Today, we visited Gela and we had a great time playing, looking through books, enjoying cookies with juice, playing ball and watching her interaction with her classmates. We learned that she is very jealous of us and would not allow her friends to engage us - which is fine in a way because we are not to interact much with them anyway. But we could tell that she was giving a harsh warning. Every time we pass a teacher, nurse or doctor, she tells them that we are her Papa and Mama.

We also got to visit with Vicka today. We drove out to the camp to where we would see both her and her great-aunt. We talked for a while and the aunt gave us a photo album of Vicka’s baby pictures, some family, and a couple of pictures from last year at camp. We thanked her for coming and for telling Vicka that she needs to go to America. We learned that Lena continued to visit Vicka but had been trying to undo the damage she caused us. Lena asked the monk that had spoken with Vicka to come and we spoke about Vicka’s religious upbringing. I let them know that we home-school our children and how the Abekka program integrates God’s word with all subjects. The monk inquired of our religious background and asked if we would take Vicka to a nearby Orthodox church when we return to the States or when she is of age, would we allow her to attend an Orthodox church. I politely let him know that I could not promise that and that I could not raise her separately from the rest of the family. I did tell them that when she becomes of age, this matter is really between her and God. And if it is evident that God leads Vicka to an Orthodox faith, I would not stand in the way. This explanation seemed to work for them and their expressions relaxed.

Lena and the monk took us to the camp chapel where we discussed the similarities and differences of our faiths. Though the monk said that our practices seemed more Catholic and Protestant, I found that much of what the Orthodox practices is very similar to Catholicism. But that is for another discussion. I understand why her aunt would want to be a part of her life right now as they did not expect her to be adopted. But the transition to our family is under way and next week, when Vicka returns to the orphanage (Tuesday morning), our bonding will accelerate. But for now, I settle for hugs, a kiss, and carrying her around the camp; playing and interacting.

Day 18

We spent a good amount of the day waiting to hear back from Marsha on her meeting with the judge. It seemed she was in the court house for a few hours. The judge she spoke with would not agree to waive the 10 day waiting period as in the past doing so has caused problems for them. But Marsha is going to try again on Monday and is going to mention that a European Convention suggests waiving such waiting periods for the sake of the children. The court hearing date is next Thursday at 3pm local (8am ET). We also visited Gela today. Our visits are become more and more relaxed. While she is definitely happy to see us, she feels more comfortable with us and her play reflects that. Tomorrow we will be visiting Vicka and will be meeting with her great-aunt. We are asking the aunt to give us her blessing and tell Vicka that it is okay to go to America. The camp that Vicka is in ends next week on Monday or Tuesday, so we should begin visiting her daily and that will greatly improve the transition into our family.

Day 17

I learned today that we are not having the court hearing on Friday. Apparently we misunderstood Marsha and it may be as late as next Friday. We have to wait for some documents to come back from the SDA in Kiev. They will have the documents Friday and have been known to only take 2 days to process these documents so we could meet next Wednesday - unless the dates are already set. We will have to see. We went and visited Gela this morning. We are bonding well and are understanding each other more and more. Tonight we are signing the application for the courts and will be formally submitting their name change and petition for adoption - the judge has the final word. Tomorrow we hope to see Vicka. She is still at camp so at least she is enjoying herself. Boy do we love her smile. We are also home-sick. But at least the court document is signed and Marsha will ask the judge tomorrow if we can waive the 10 waiting period. Please pray. We are anxious to get home with our entire family and get adjusted. Thank you.

Day 16

The paperwork is moving along. We were able to meet with the director of Vicka’s orphanage and since we weren’t sure when we would see her again, we gave her our donation. But we also received some bad news from Marsha. It seems that Vicka has a great-aunt who refers to herself as her grandmother and has expressed interest in applying for guardianship. To make matters worse, on our way to visit Vicka at camp, we crossed paths with the aunt. Her name is Lena and seems a bit young to be a great-aunt. She told us of her intentions and that she visits Vicka whenever she is at camp, which is about once a year.

Marsha told her that she is not suppose to visit Vicka without both the directors and social workers approval. And to help dissuade her, Marsha also informed her that she would have to apply for guardianship of both Gela and Vicka. That didn’t dissuade her but after letting her know that we would pursue the adoption, that we will provide good healthcare, an education, and the boys wanted them as sisters, we left and spent time with Vicka.

We had a good time with Vicka but the aunt had told her that she isn’t going to America; though she would like to be a part of our family and live with us. We are committed to continuing in the process and we know that the law is on our side. We also tried our best to enjoy ourselves and know Vicka better. She loves the camera and after a couple of shots, she wanted to work it. We didn’t get as much time as we liked because we spent 40 minutes speaking with the aunt. During the entire conversation with Lena, we silently prayed for God to change her heart. I think it was one of the strongest prayers I’ve ever petitioned for I felt like my spirit was truly reaching out along with all of my mind, heart, and emotions.
On the way home, we got awesome news! Lena called Marsha and said that after some thought, she has decided to not pursue guardianship but she did ask if we would send pictures and updates every so often. Since we have to do this for the SDA every year, we agreed. Lena also agreed that the girls would be better off with us but would like to meet one more time. This was a 4 hour heart attack that we didn’t need. We love the girls so much. Angelina is learning English words quickly and both are vibrant little girls. They are both so excited! But then so are we!

Day 15

Pri`vet! (Hi!)

We just returned from spending time with Gela (Angelina) and grabbed some quick dinner. This morning, we went to the social workers office for paperwork and then stopped by each orphanage. First stop was Vicka’s (Victoria) orphanage; but of course she is still at camp. The director wasn't there today. I hope she returns tomorrow. We are on track about the paperwork. The documents from the social workers and the orphanages must be sent to SDA. Once that happens, we can request an appointment with the judge. By the time we receive confirmation from the SDA, and then we are cleared to stand before the judge. After our appointment, we are required to wait for 10 calendar days. During this time we can still visit the girls. Please pray that we will be able to see Sarah again (before Friday). We also met the director for Gela’s orphanage. He was out before. He is a very kind and gentle elderly man who was very interested in us. He told us that Gela informed him that she has a Papa and Mama now. He liked our pictures and asked about them. He was impressed that we home-school and that Jennifer is educated in teaching. I must paraphrase but he said that he believes that we adopting the girls are "destiny". I couldn't agree more except that this is God's handiwork.

On one stop at the local market, we checked out the restrooms. The stories are true! Even though the market is only a couple of years old, they felt they needed to install it (almost a hole in the ground) that way. Also, I should mention that the markets have a lot of security around here. The closest market has around 3-4 uniformed guards and at least one in plain clothes. If you buy anything expensive, they radio each other. I thought WalMart was bad...

I posted some more pictures. Including are pictures of the orphanage (outside) and a market restroom. Yes, the picture is real. And even though the market is only a few years old, they felt they had to install it that way. Also, I should mention that the markets have a lot of security around here. The closest market has around 3-4 uniformed guards and at least one in plain clothes. If you buy anything expensive, they radio each other. I thought WalMart was bad...

Day 14

After getting some much needed rest, we stopped by the market and headed over to Angelina's orphanage. When she saw Jennifer, she jumped up and danced and yelled "Mama!" She didn't even finish her snack but continued to work on it after she was dressed to go outside. She loves bananas, apple juice, and animal crackers. We enjoyed playing ball on the blanket in the grass until it began to rain. We ran for cover and read "Cat in the Hat". Well, we didn't really read, more like look at pictures. When it began to downpour, we went inside and finished reading. We played some quiet ball, watched the rain come down, and when it stopped, we joined some of her friends outside. But it was pretty muddy so we had to change her shoes. Eventually, we had to leave. She was pretty upset but this is the way it has to be. We'll see her tomorrow. Hopefully we can see Victoria soon. Tomorrow we go to her orphanage. Keep us in prayer. We still need to get through the courts but this region is relatively quick. Pray that we are able to bond well with the girls. But I have to admit, bonding is easier than I thought it would be but it's not too easy either. God Bless!

Day 13

We awoke early to get started, enjoyed some coffee Americana - that was delicious, and eventually checked out. We went to submit the formal documentation to adopt Victoria and Angelina. By the way, we are keeping their first names as their middle names. Victoria will be Sarah Victoria (Victorious Princess) and Angelina will be Kaitlyn Angelina (Pure Angel). The notaries here are equal to lawyers back home; or at least junior lawyers. We got the papers, which go to the social works in each city (Kramatorsk/Slovansk) and the SDA in Kiev.

We are staying at our facilitators apartment in Kramatorsk, which is only 10 minutes walking distance to Angelina's orphanage. We spent some time there. Her teachers tell us that she asks for us and before she met us, she asked when her Papa and Mama will come. She still doesn't understand that we can't leave. After a while, she kept leading us to the outer gate of the orphanage. We got to play with her in the yard and we began to bond well. I missed my girls. I wish I could see Victoria as much as I see Angelina. I will keep learning more Russian as I can. For now, I know enough to sustain them. But when we get back to the States, Victoria will eventually start Kindergarten. Angelina will be in a short of preschool stage at home - fun learning stuff. Within 3 months, they should be able to easily understand. Within 6 months, they will be able to conversate. Within a year, they will have forgotten much of the orphanage and Russian.

Day 12

After a long night, we are in Kramatorsk. The buildings are similar to that of Kiev but the language is more Russian. While the verbal dialects are not that different, the letters are. But I'm sure you are wondering why we are in Kramatorsk and not in the Kiev region, like we thought we'd be. At the last SDA appointment, God pointed out the girls to us: two sisters. They were presented before but we were told that the younger was in too poor of health for us to handle. But they were wrong. So, after checking into a nice hotel we got permission to visit the orphanages. First we went to the Kramatorsk orphanage, where we were presented with Angelina. She is almost 5, is beautiful, small, has brown eyes that match Jennifer’s, has light brown hair, and surprised us immensely. I didn't know what to expect, but when she came into the room, I crouched down to her level and she came right to me saying "Papa". If you need that translated, that's Russian for Daddy =). Then I realized that I had to share her with Jennifer. I set her on the chair, we gave her a stuffed Mickey Mouse, some “pi-chen-yeh” (peanut butter crackers – peanut butter is very rare), a drawing that Noah made, and showed her pictures. She said that she wants to live with us there in the house. She wants to sleep in her room. She loves her Papa and Mama. We spent some time with her and got to meet her "teacher". Every adult there is a nurse or doctor, so she is well taken care of. The doctor gave us the run down. She has a slight lazy eye but otherwise she is in good health. The orphanage loves their children and was happy to see us come and love on her. They had no problems approving us. The next orphanage director was not that easy.
Next we went to Slovansk. It’s about 20 kilometers north east of Kramatorsk. Upon meeting the director, we spoke for an hour. Our translator and facilitator did very well and we respectively answered her questions. Eventually she agreed that we could adopt but though we were told that Victoria was there, she was actually at camp, which was another 40 kilometers away. With her permission, and one of the staff, we ventured out to the camp. Sometime later, we met Victoria. Victoria is 7, has deep brown eyes, soft brown hair, is slender, has a nice brown skin tone, and very beautiful. She reminds me of the pictures of Jennifer when she was a young girl at her age. She was very excited and ran right to Jennifer and hugged her. She also couldn't understand why she couldn't leave right away. We gave her a stuffed Mickey Mouse, some peanut butter crackers, some pictures, and Nick's drawing. She took to the boys right away. She also couldn't understand why we didn't speak Russian but she wants to live with us, she wants to sleep in her bed in her room. We didn't have as long with her as she needed to get back to her schedule. But we exchanged a lot of hugs and kisses. When we left each girl, we all teared up. The boys love their sisters and try their hardest to play. Unfortunately, Victoria's director will not allow us to see her everyday while she is at camp. We appreciate that she is at camp though as she is much happier there and there is less stress from the director. I don't have pictures yet. We needed to wait until we formally submitted our request to adopt - but that tail is for tomorrow.

Day 11

Today we received our SDA referral document which will be placed in the hands of the local social workers. On the way over to the SDA, we met a Nebraska couple who is in process of adopting their 4th child who happens to have Down’s Syndrome. We boarded the train, which seems to be old; old enough to be from the days of the USSR. We got 2nd class tickets and sweated until the train pulled out. The train rumbles and rocks like you're out at sea. We left at 6:40am and arrived around 6:20am the next day in Kramatorsk. We slept in the bunks and took Benadryl to help get to sleep. But before we knocked out, we got to see a lot of Kiev and the countryside. I should mention that we had frequent stops. At a few of them, I spotted ladies setting up portable tables of home-made food. Then as soon as we pulled out, they moved to the other tracks and waited. The bathrooms on these were slightly larger than airplane bathrooms. Be careful when you flush as the waste drops down besides the tracks and you can see the ground fly by. The countryside reminds me of Bakersfield with occasional small communities with large gardens. They put my garden to shame. We also passed by graveyards and very humble homes with dish receivers. It's 5am now and we are approaching Kramatorsk (Donesk region). We passed ceramic and cement factories - some of the major sources of income. Our local facilitator and translator, Marsha, says there are about 300,000 people in Kramatorsk.

Marsha looks like a Russian Cameron Diaz. At one point I told her that and confirmed that it was a compliment. She’s been told that before. I have to admit, the first time I saw her I was surprised. We were getting our luggage together and she popped out of nowhere speaking in English that we have two minutes to get off the train!

Day 10

Today, we survived another couple of taxi rides; though a few times I think we traded paint. At least one of them had air conditioning. We rode to the SDA and waited by St. Andrews for the SDA to return from lunch. We reviewed more profiles and were updated with more information on the profiles we saw before. As you know, Jennifer and I have been in prayer about this entire process, even as we were looking at pictures and hearing the information. Tomorrow evening, we will be traveling to Kramatorsk, Donetsk (City/State) and will be visiting Victoria (age 7) and Angelina (age 4). They both are in good health, as much good health as any child could be in an orphanage. I don't have any pictures as they wouldn't let me take any but Victoria looks similar to Jennifer’s childhood pictures and Angelina looks a bit like Noah. We will be taking the train overnight; leaving around 6:40pm (11:40am ET) and will arrive 7:00am (12am ET). About 75% of the population of Donetsk speaks Russian including Victoria and Angelina.

Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! We are headed out to the orphanage city! We have our girls identified and we continue to pray that we will quickly bond with the girls. Thank you for your prayers but keep them coming!